fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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