i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
