But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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