guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
