so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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