so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
