Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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