Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
