Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
