You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
