All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
