jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
