Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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