He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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