i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
operation have a gay friend backfired
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
