no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
