ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
