She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I understand Curling. That high.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
