OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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