I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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