I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
