come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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