I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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