new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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