grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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