I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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