It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
