bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
