I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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