Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
