Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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