This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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