Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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