Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I believe in your delicious
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