if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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