You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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