Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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