You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
