He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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