apparently the secret to your success is patron
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
