You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
