Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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