Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
