I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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