So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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