I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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