Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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