After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That accounts for only three of the penises
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
