woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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