with your own penis?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
