quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
