Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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