So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
