You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
