He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
