Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
