no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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